the Law of Rhythm (and growing into the life you asked for)
When I started this post, I didn’t know what I’d type, just that I wanted to sneak off to a cafe and write.
Life.
Mine has changed, and has been changing, and I feel I am now just catching up with all the changes that have been happening — I asked for this; all of it; the loving partner, the new city, the burning away of responsibilities that no longer fit me, but change isn’t always easy and for so much of this year change is all I’ve been experiencing. Change after change, watching so many of my manifestations birth themselves.
Since March so many amazing things have come into my life (Related: Manifesting Love) and I’ve been holding on for dear life, waiting for the moment I felt the chaos stop.
From the outside, life was good.
And it was on the inside, too.
But I was in sensory overload.
Getting everything I asked for, and more, and feeling like I couldn’t cope.
Because change changes us.
And I think it’s okay to admit that it’s okay to be uncomfortable, even in the midst of things working out. And I think it’s important to recognize that getting what we want involves so much change in who we are; an alchemy of our hearts and how we identify ourselves. And that no matter how incredible, life changes can be hard. And the most beautiful moments, difficult.
A few months back I read an Instagram post by Livingin.Love about how their relationship changed after their marriage. After their wedding things felt off. Their life changed with their vows and feeling steady again took them time; as individuals and as husband and wife. And instead of seeing that as a bad thing, a bad omen, a ‘sign’ that they made a bad decision, they honoured it for what it was: a life transition.
And I’ve kept that in mind.
My new life required grieving who I was before.
I traded my independent “I can do everything on my own” for shared routines and learning to be a partner. I went from knowing everyone to being a stranger living in the hum of a language she doesn’t know.
I wanted it.
This.
This life I’m living.
And it was a transition.
And there were moments I wanted to quit.
Moments I wanted to go home.
And did.
Moments I felt unsure.
Pushing away what I asked for.
Moments filled with anger for everything changing in my world.
"I know I asked for this, but my God I can’t handle it. Everything is changing and I don’t know who I am anymore.”
And that’s life.
And to feel that way is normal.
And from the other side, I am so proud of the past few months and who I’ve become by being deeply uncomfortable. And I am so thankful for being stretched beyond anything I could have ever imagined before — in awe of life and the opportunities it gives us to grow.
If you’re in it, moving through it, getting everything you’ve ever wanted or on your way to and finding yourself feeling down, off, or unsure, I see you, feel you, and know that you too will look back and smile.
Cause that’s how this world works.
The law of rhythm moving us forward. Ebb and flow from who we were to who we’re growing into.
Journaling prompts for navigating life’s shifts:
Here are 3 tools that have helped me find steadiness through change, with space to journal on them if that will also help you:
x
Robin